Jokes From Forum Sebelah ( Kaskus )

Lupa Nama
=========

Bernie diundang kawannya makan malam. Morris,
si tuan rumah, memanggil istrinya dengan kata-
kata Sayang... Manis... Cintaku... Sayangku...
Kasiku... dan sebangsanya. Bernie menatap Morris
dan berkata, "Romantis sekali, setelah bertahun-
tahun menikah, kau tetap memanggil istrimu dengan
kata-kata itu."
Morris mengangkat bahu dan berbisik,"Sebenarnya,
aku lupa namanya sejak tiga tahun lalu."

Lapangan Golf
=============

Lagi ngobrol-2 di lapangan Golf, tiga orang konglomerat pada nyombong

A : anak gue empat orang cowok semua.... coba kalo gue dapat anak
cowok satu lagi... gue bakalan latih mereka jadi satu tim bola
basket buat ngalahin Chicago Bulls.

B : anak gue sepuluh orang cowok semua... coba kalo gue dapat satu
lagi anak cowok, gue bisa latih mereka jadi satu tim sepak bola
buat ngalahin AC Milan...

Konglomerat yg ketiga, yg belon punya anak seorang pun nggak mau kalah...

C : istri gue 17 orang belon ada yang punya anak satupun... coba
kalo gue dapet istri satu lagi, gue mo bikin lapangan golf 18 holes
di rumah sendiri..... gue gak perlu cape-2 maen golf disini

Makan Siang
===========

Disebuah proyek pembangunan apartement, ada 3 orank tukang yang
lagi makan siang
Tukang 1 : yah ampun!!!! roti isi telor lagi!!! TELOR TELOR TELORRR
terussss!!!!!, kalo besok gue masih dibawain roti isi telor lagi, gue
bakalan loncat dari gedung atas!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tukang 2 : NASI UDUk, NASI UDUK, NASI UDUK terus!!!!!!!!!!!,
bisa gila nih gue!!!! kalo besok masih nasi uduk, gue bakalan bunuh diri!
Tukang 3 : ROTI SELAI KACANG???????, tyappppp hari gue makan roti
selei kacang!!!, kalo besok masih selei kacang juga gue bakalan ikutan
loncat bareng elo berdua!!!!
Besokannya, si tukang pertama dibawain roti isi telor lagi, tukang kedua,
bawa nasi uduk lagi, dan tukang ketiga juga roti selei kacang lagi,
akhirnya, mereka bertiga loncat dari gedung!!!!
Dipemakaman, ke3 istri tukang2 itu, sediiiihhhhh bgt
Istri 1 : kalo aja saya tau dia ngga mao makan roti isi telor, pasti udah
saya bikinin yang laen....
Istri 2 : kalo aja dia bilang dia bosen sama nasi uduk, pasti ngga
bakalan begini jadinya........
Istri 3 : saya binggung kenapa suami saya bunuh diri, dia selalu bikin
bekalnya sendiri........

Mesra


Sepasang kakek-nenek datang kerestoran Mc Donald dengan saling menuntun.

Mereka duduk disebuah bangku panjang berdua, disampingku.

Si kakek segera berdiri dan memesan makanan, sebuah hamburger, seporsi kentang goreng dan segelas minuman.

Setelah itu kembali duduk, membagi hamburger jadi 2 bagian, menghitung kentang goreng dengan cermat dan membagi adil dengan si nenek, kemudian mengambil dua sedotan, menaruh gelas minuman tepat ditengah meja.

Aku memperhatikan tingkah sepasang kakek-nenek itu dengan salut & kagum, pikirku... "Wah sudah tua-tua begitu masih bisa saling berbagi & mengasihi.... sungguh patut dijadikan contoh..."

Si kakek kemudian mulai makan bagiannya, sementara si nenek hanya memperhatikan.

Akupun merasa kasian, akhirnya mendekat sembari menyodorkan kentangku yang Super Size dan berkata: "Kek ambillah ini..."

Si Kakek jawab: "Tidak usyah terima kasih..kami selalu berbagi makanan yang sama".

Sampai si kakek selesai makan, mengelap mulut dengan tissue, si nenek masih saja menunggu tanpa menyentuh makanan bagiannya.

Akupun mendekat lagi, kali ini berkata: "Nek, boleh saya belikan makanan yang lain, mungkin nenek tidak suka yang ini?"

Si Nenek jawab: "Tidak terimakasih.."

Lalu Aku bertanya lagi, "Kalau begitu kenapa makanannya tidak dimakan, katanya kalian suka berbagi?"

Kata si Nenek, "SAYA SEDANG MENUNGGU GIGI... GANTIAN SAMA KAKEK!!"

Nyebut Sep
==========

Suatu hari, mang Usep, si penjual sayur keliling yang masih muda belia,
ditabrak mobil. Si penabrak langsung ngacir meninggalkan si korban
yang tergeletak di sisi jalan dan orang2 sekitar yang memaki-maki.
Orang2 segera berkerumun menolong mang Usep, tukang sayur
kesayangan mereka. Kondisi mang Usep sangat parah. Darah meleleh
di sekujur tubuhnya. Nampaknya ajal sudah dekat. Seorang ibu, tidak
tega melihat keadaannya. Beliau mendekat lalu berkata, "Nyebut....Sep....
Nyebut....!" Maksudnya agar mang Usep mengingat nama-Nya di saat2
terakhir. Mang Usep, dengan kekuatan terakhirnya berusaha menggerakkan
bibirnya. Dia lalu berkata dengan nyaring, "SAYUUUUUURRR........."

Pak Pendeta
===========

Dua orang pendeta pergi berlibur ke Hawaii dan memutuskan selama
liburan mereka tidak akan mengenakan pakaian yang dapat
mengidentifikasikan mereka sebagai pendeta.
Begitu pesawat mendarat, mereka langsung belanja celana pendek, kaus,
sendal, dan kaca mata hitam. Keesokan harinya mereka pergi ke pantai
dengan dandanan turis dan bersantai di kursi pantai, menikmati minuman,
sinar matahari, dan pemandangan. Tak berapa lama, seorang gadis pirang
yang benar-benar aduhai dalam bikini super mini datang menghampiri.
Mereka tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa kecuali menatap. Ketika gadis itu
lewat, ia tersenyum dan berkata, "Selamat pagi, Bapak pendeta. Selamat pagi,
Bapak pendeta." Kemudian ia pergi.
Mereka berdua terbengong-bengong. Bagaimana bisa ia mengetahui kalau
mereka pendeta? Keesokan harinya mereka belanja lagi barang-barang yang
menunjukkan mereka turis dan kembali ke kursi pantai mereka dan
bersantai.
Setelah beberapa saat, si pirang yang sama, memakai bikini ketat kali
ini, datang menghampiri mereka lagi. Dan ia menyapa," Selamat pagi,
Bapak pendeta. Selamat pagi, Bapak pendeta." Ia tersenyum dan mulai
melangkah menjauh. Salah satu pendeta sangat penasaran dan berkata,
"Tunggu sebentar, nona muda. Ya, kami memang pendeta, dan kami bangga.
Tapi aku harus tahu, bagaimana kamu bisa tahu?"
"Oh, Bapak, tidakkah Anda mengenaliku? Aku Suster Angela!"

Perkawinan ke 3
===============

terjadi percakapan antara dua lelaki:
A: apa benar ini perkawinan kamu yang ketiga?
B: Betul
A: Apa yang terjadi dengan perkawinan kamu yang
pertama ?
B: Istri saya meninggal karena makan jamur beracun
A; lalu dengan perkawinan kedua?
B: Tulang tengkorak istri saya retak
A: Apa yang terjadi?
B: dia menolak makan jamur beracun

Ramalan si Kodok
================

Seekor kodok memutuskan untuk menelepon hotline
seorang peramal dan menanyakan bagaimana nasib nya
pada waktu-waktu mendatang.
Peramal itu berkata, "engkau akan bertemu dengan
seorang gadis yang sangat cantik, yang ingin mengenal
engkau sampai se detail-detailnya" "Menyenangkan sekali"
kata sang kodok. "Dimana aku akan bertemu dengannya?
Disebuah pesta di kolam ini?" kata sang Kodok berseri-seri.
Peramal itu berhenti sejenak kemudian berkata "Engkau
akan menemuinya semester berikut di Lab. Biology"

Tipe Kondom
===========

Kondom Miduo : Dua isinya, nikmat rasanya
Kondom Pindy Mint : Dingin-dingin empuk....
Kondom Ando : Kuat bagai naga
Kondom Extra Joss : Merubah ngos menjadi joss....
Kondom Choki-choki : Yang panjaaang...dan lammaaa....
Kondom Atlas : Resmi bisa santai bisaaa.......
Kondom Attack : Kecil tapi hebaaat
Kondom Carvil : Ngai juga pakeee....
Kondom Clear : Pake hitam ? Siapa takut ?
Kondom Wimcycle : Hebooooohh....
Kondom Toyota Dyna : Bett di medan berat, plass di medan mulus
Kondom Jarum Super : Yang penting rasanya bung !
Kondom Sari Mi : Dari aromanya terbayang kelezatannya
Kondom Kalibex : Disobek langsung currr.....
Kondom SCTV : Ngetooopppp
Kondom RCTI : Okeeee!
Kondom TPI : Kondom Keluarga Indonesia
Kondom Gudang Garam : Pria punya selera
Kondom POS : Untuk anda kami ada
Kondom Sampoerna : Bukan basa-basi
Kondom Ramuan Madura : Rapet lagi... rapet lagi... sempit dong!
Kondom Oskadon : Sik...sik...sik... Pancen Oye!
Kondom Telkom : Setia melayani anda
Kondom Pixy : Selalu always
Kondom AXE : Kesan pertama begitu menggoda...
Kondom Indosiar : Memang untuk anda
Kondom ANTEVE : Wow! Kerreeen!
Kondom Rexona : Setia Setiap Saat
Kondom VIT : O la la
Kondom Coca-Cola : Saya pikir-pikir dulu.....!
Kondom 234: Sejarah "Cita Rasa" Tinggi
Kondom Kapal Api : Jelas lebihenaak...
Kondomnya Basuki : Wes ewes ewes, Bablas anginee....
Kondom Panther..: nyaris tak bersuara.....
Kondom TOSHIBA : Dunia Mengakuinya.....

Tulis Surat
===========

Seorang pengawas rumah sakit jiwa melihat seorang
pasien sedang menulis surat.
" Kau menulis surat untuk siapa? " tanya pengawas.
" Saya menulis surat untuk diri saya sendiri, " jawab si pasien.
" Lalu apa yang kau tulis? " tanyanya lagi.
" Mana saya tau? " seru si pasien. " Saya kan baru akan
menerimanya besok pagi...!!"

Salesman Apes
=============

Seorang salesman alat penghisap debu menuju ke
sebuah rumah. Diketuknya pintu depan. Sebelum
sempat nyonya rumah itu berkata sepatah katapun,
ia menghamburkan segala macam kotoran ke karpet
ruang tamu.
"Nyonya," katanya, "saya yakin akan kemampuan mesin
ini. Karpet ini akan bersih kembali dalam sekejap. Jika
nanti masih ada kotoran yang tertinggal, saya bersedia
memakannya." "Kalau begitu," kata nyonya itu,"mulailah
makan. kami belum punya listrik."

Otak termahal
=============

Pada suatu hari di Amerika Serikat, tepatnya di kota New York,
diadakan festival otak sedunia.Pada festival tersebut dipamerkan
dan dijual otak2manusia dari seluruh dunia. Masing2 negara
mengirimkan satu buah otak untuk diwakilkan. Dari sekian ratus
otak, setelah diadakan penelitian,ternyata harga otak termahal
berasal dari 3 negara,yakni Amerika Serikat, Jepang dan Indonesia.
Ketika seorang pengunjung menanyakan mengapa otak Amerika
mahal, si penjual mengatakan bahwa otak Amerika mahal karena
mampu menciptakan teknologi tinggi di bidang transportasi.
"Lalu, gimana dengan otak Jepang ?", bertanya lagisi pengunjung.
"Kalo otak Jepang mahal, karena Jepang sudah bisa menciptakan
teknologi robot yang super canggih,"jawab si penjual.
"Lantas, otak Indonesia ?" sahut si pengunjung lagi, penasaran.
"Oooooo......kalo yang ini mahal sekali, karena masih orisinil dan
jarang dipake."

Kamus Mandarin ( English Way )
==============================

Dengkul gue kebentok meja – Ai beng mai ni

Wah… kamu kegemukan yah – Chin tu fet

Duh… kamu kok ga ngerti2 sih – Dam gai

Ini bubuk yang bisa dipakai teroris – Gan pao der

Sini dong kemari – Kam hia

Orang malas – Lei Zi

Pemalu – Shai Gai

Aduh bayinya mungil yah – Tae ni bae bie

Sedang cuci mobil – Wah shing kah

Pengiritan listrik – Wai so dim

Dilarang teriak2 – Wai yu shao ting

Bicara Lewat Tulisan
====================

Ada sepasang suami-istri yang kalau lagi cekcok/marah mereka tidak mau
saling bicara lewat mulut, tapi bicara lewat tulisan di selembar kertas.
Suatu malam suami-istri tsb lagi cekcok/marah, padahal keesokan paginya
si suami harus bangun pagi-pagi sekali karena tugas pagi.
Sebelum tidur Si Suami menulis di selembar kertas,
isi tulisannya: BU, BESOK AKU DIBANGUNKAN PUKUL 5.00 PAGI. JANGAN
TERLAMBAT LHO!. lalu selembar kertas tsb diberikan pada si istri.
Keesokan paginya si suami kaget karena bangun pukul 8.00 pagi.
"Wah...sialan, aku tidak dibangunkan oleh istriku, awas akan ku labrak
dia", kata si suami. Tetapi sebelum Si Suami meninggalkan tempat
tidurnya, ia melihat ada selembar kertas berisi tulisan disampingnya.
lalu ia baca tulisan tsb: PAK, BANGUN PAK, SUDAH JAM 5.00 PAGI!.

ALKOHOL
=======

Seorang guru mengajarkan muridnya untuk tidak mabuk-mabukan
dengan memberikan contoh. Sang guru menunjukan 2 buah botol yang
masing2 berisi air dan alkohol kepada para murid. Kemudian pada
tiap-tiap botol sang guru memasukan sekor cacing. Pada botol yang
berisi air, sang cacing dapat tetap hidup, tetapi pada botol berisi
alkohol sang cacing langsung mati.
Guru : "Anak-anak, praktek ini membuktikan apa?"
Otong (dari belakang menjawab) : "Bila kita minum Alkohol akan
terbebas dari cacingan bu....!"
Guru : ???????

Where Is God?

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were
excessively mischievous. They were always getting into
trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred
in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been
successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would
speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to
see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old
first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman
in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So
the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner
tone, "Where is God!!?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman
raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the
boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly
home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind
him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he
asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in
BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think
WE did it!

The Atheist and the
Loch Ness Monster


An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly
his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one
easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a
hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting
below to swallow them both.

As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall
towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast, he cried out,
“Oh, my God! Help me!”

Suddenly, the scene froze in place and as the atheist hung
in midair, a booming voice came out of the clouds and said,
“I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“God, come on, give me a break!” the man pleaded, “Just
seconds ago, I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster
either!”

“Well,” said God, “now that you are a believer, you must
understand that I won’t work miracles to snatch you from
certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change
hearts. What would you have me do?”

The atheist thinks for a minute then says, “God, please
have the Loch Ness Monster believe in You also.”

God replies, “So be it.”

The scene starts in motion again with the atheist falling
towards the ravenous jaws of the monster. The Loch Ness
Monster folds his claws together and says,

“Lord, bless this food You have so graciously provided.....”

The Catholic Fish

A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community.
Being good Catholics, they welcomed him into their community.
But, also because they were good Catholics, they
did not eat red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor
began barbecuing some juicy steak on Friday night, they
began to squirm.

They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about
it. After much talk, they convinced him to become Catholic.

The next Sunday, he went to the priest and the priest
sprinkled holy water on him and said, “You were born
Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are
Catholic.”

And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat
their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef
coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk
to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed
to eat beef on Fridays.

When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef
saying, “You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But
now you are fish.”

Scientists and God
Click For Hilarious Blooper Movies at RachylRaw.com!
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that
man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So
they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were
done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve
decided that we no longer need You. We’re to the point that
we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so
why don’t You just go on and get lost?”

God listened very patiently and kindly. After the scientist
was done talking, God said, “Very well, how about this?
Let’s say we have a man-making contest.”

To which the scientist replied, “Okay! Great.” But God
added, “Now we’re going to do this just like I did back in the
old days with Adam.”

The scientist said, “Sure, no problem!” and bent down and
grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, “No, no, no. You go get your
own dirt!”

The Pope’s Golf Game

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from
Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.

“Your Holiness,” said one of his Cardinals, “Mr. Netanyahu
wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the
friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and
Catholic faiths.”

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never
held a golf club in his hand. “Don’t we have a Cardinal to
represent me?” he asked.

“None that plays very well,” a Cardinal replied. “But,” he
added, “there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American
golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a
Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your
personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of
cooperation, we’ll also win the match.”

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of
course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day
after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform
the Pope of the result.

“I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness,
“ said the golfer.

“Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus,” said the
Pope.

“Well, your Holiness, I don’t like to brag, but even though
I’ve played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this
was the best I have ever played, by far. I must’ve been
inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons
were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect.
With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.”

“There’s bad news?” the Pope asked.

“Yes,” Nicklaus sighed. “I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by
three strokes.”

Army of the Lord

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day,
and as always the preacher was standing at the door
shaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed
my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The preacher said to him, “You need to join the Army of the
Lord!”

My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord,
Preacher.”

The preacher questioned, “How come I don’t see you
except for Christmas and Easter?”

He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”

Earl and His Friends

Earl was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know
everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone,
and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Earl
how about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.“

So Earl and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on
Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts,
“Earl! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in
and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Earl’s boss is still skeptical. After
they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Earl that he thinks Earl’s
knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone
else,” Earl says.

“President Clinton,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yes,” Earl says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”

And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Earl on
the tour and motions him and his boss over saying, “Earl,
what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you
and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee
first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally
convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his
doubts to Earl, who again implores him to name anyone
else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Earl. “My folks
are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So off they fly to Rome. Earl and his boss are assembled
with the masses in Vatican Square when Earl says, “This
will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all
these people. Tell you what: I know all the guards, so let
me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with
the Pope.”

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the
Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later, Earl emerges with
the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Earl returns, he
finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded
by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss’ side, Earl asks him, “What
happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and
the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me
said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Earl?”

Moses’ Threesome

Moses put together a threesome and they hit the links.

Moses pulled up to the tee, took out his driver, and drove a
long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but bounced
directly toward a water hazard.

Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it
rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee with a 3 iron and hit a
beauty, straight as an arrow, directly toward the same water
hazard. It was headed straight for the water but instead of
sinking when it hit, it merely skipped across the surface
and landed on the green.

The third guy got up with a sand wedge and sort of randomly
whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and
into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a
truck and hit a nearby tree.

From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by
and rolled down into the gutter, down the rainspout, out onto
the fairway and straight toward the afore mentioned pond.

On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and
bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested
quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily
pad and snatched the ball into his mouth.

Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog
and flew away. As they passed over the green, the talons of
the eagle squeezed the frog and it dropped the ball, which
bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, “I hate playing with your
Dad.”

Jesus and Satans’ Contest

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better
programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come
to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and began.
They typed furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen,
for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the
competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the
electricity.

Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces
that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he
has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, “I have
nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”

“Very well, then,” says God, “Let us see if Jesus fared any
better.”

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in
vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from
the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’
program is intact! How did he do it?”

God chuckles, “Everybody knows Jesus saves.”

Jesus at the Pearly Gates


St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming.
He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention.

“Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?”

“Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?”

“Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their
background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they
deserve entry into Heaven.”

“Sounds easy enough. OK.”

So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his
errand. The first person to approach the gates was a
wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to the examination
table and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man
and asked, “What was it you did for a living?”

The old man replied, “I was a carpenter.”

Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned
forward. “Did you have any family?” he asked.

“Yes, I had a son, but I lost him.”

Jesus leaned forward some more. “You lost your son? Can
you tell me about him?”

“Well, he had holes in his hands and feet.”

Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, “Father?”

The old man leaned forward and whispered, “Pinocchio?”